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Chipotle sauce?

January 4, 2008

Next time you’re in Tampa stop by Lonni’s Sandwiches, Etc. and try yourself an Albuquerque Turkey. Notice anything? Chipotle?!

Ok. Listen up, world. (Especially all you marketing gurus.) First, stop abusing ‘chipotle.’ Every restaurant you go to has a chipotle something-or-other. Stop it. Stop it now. Chipotle is not a synonym of hot, spicy or fiery. That stuff you pass of as chipotle is most definitely not hot nor chipotle. Just stop. Not only are you embarrassing yourselves, but you’re contributing to the dumbing down of culture. Be ashamed! Be very ashamed!

Damn. It feels nice up here on this horse.

Moving on… Albuquerque Turkey?! I’ll admit, I thought the name was flippin’ genius around the age of four, but somewhere between years five and six I decided it was lame and haven’t looked back since. Turkey is the tabula rasa of meats. It needs dressing up. I get it. No real problem there, but your chipotle turkey sandwich is anything but Albuquerque.

Look, Albuquerque is the largest city in New Mexico. New Mexico has its own cuisine. To dumb it down for you, geen and red chile is the cornerstone of damn near every New Mexican dish. If you insist upon having an Albuquerque Turkey in your shop, you might consider New Mexican chiles over chipotles. The state question is ‘Red or green?’; not ‘Would you like smoked red jalapeño?’

World, I apologize for getting all ‘local’ on your ass, but the Albuquerque Turkey wasn’t born here. I know. Your heart is broken, but its better Albuquerque tell you than squeeze itself into a lie. Don’t worry, we can still be friends. Just don’t freak out when we put chile on our turkey.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. themoreloving1 permalink
    January 8, 2008 11:25 pm

    Great post. Unfortunately turkey rhymes with Albuquerque. I just found your blog and I think it is great. I am thinking of relocating to ABQ within the next 6-7 months or so. Your blog is a great source of information.

  2. El Orange permalink
    January 14, 2008 4:32 pm

    Dammit. Albuquerque does rhyme with turkey! I kid.

    Yeah, I suppose we’re never going to get away from the Albuquerque Turkey, but if you people insist upon its existence, then at least put chile on it.

    I’m glad you enjoy the blog and find it source of good information. Albuquerque is a great town. Perhaps a little tough at first, but phenomenal on a second look!

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